Obsession

by Love Love Letter

I don’t have an addictive personality.

I don’t rely on anything in particular to start my day – no piping hot cup of coffee is going to make or break my energy level.

I decided to try smoking cigarettes just after college because I needed something to do on my long aimless walks through the city, pondering who to call or what calling to follow to make life more exciting and less like the life of a new graduate with no money and a bit of a quarter life crisis on her hands. But then I got all frog-in-my-throaty and my colds lasted longer and I knew it wasn’t worth it, so my five cigs a day went down to zero without even the beginnings of a hankering.

I guess I can get obsessive, though, and I saw the worst of that personality trait the other day when I went to Bloomingdales and they gave me a scanner and set me loose. Well, first I was given an hour with Beverly, a helpful woman who was there to guide me through it all.

We went to china first. I knew it would be my downfall, and I wanted to start on it when I was fresh and clear-headed. We went to look at a few patterns that I was partial to. I’d been stalking this one already, for a while.

It makes me weak in the knees. I suggested mixing it with another pattern to take it away from straight up ‘precious’ and make it a little more fun and funky. I hated having to use that word, funky, but it’s all that seemed to work at the moment. I also suggested taking it away from being so ‘precious’ by using it on a more regular basis. Instead of saving my china for big family meals (who knows how often they’ll happen), I’d take them out anytime I’d happened to put some effort into the food prep, anytime we had a friend or two over. When I found out that the gold wouldn’t do well in the dishwasher, I changed my mind. I want something that will feel special for a long time to come, but I also want something that I won’t feel is SO special that I won’t use it. Ever.

I played around with the idea of this in white, but I couldn’t find any other patterns I liked with it, and it’s so of the moment, I’m afraid it will feel dated quickly.

 

What I eventually chose, I go back and forth between loving, and assigning all kinds of judgements. It’s for a grandmother, a California hippy, a nerd. But hey, I have grandmother tendencies, and California hippy tendencies, and definitely nerd tendencies. I’d been strongly considering Heath Ceramics dinnerware, but was worried I wouldn’t be able to dress it up enough. This has a similar feel, but it’s easier to mix and match with glitz and fun bits on the table because it has this pearlescent quality to it.

I paired it with this awesome gold and black flatware and when I started playing with textiles with bits of black in it, it went from earthy to interesting, but I STILL doubt my decision. We will be able to use these every day without hesitating, but they’ll also make a table look beautiful. Maybe it’s being in retail for work throughout my career, but I just cannot commit. There are a million decisions one could make, many of which would be just perfect. We could choose any of these and I’d be happy, but again, some are more practical than others:

Look how pretty these are in groupings! They are so ridiculously expensive though.

And here, lots going on. Also, I think they’re beauts, but some might not want to eat off a bug…

These are pretty, but I do live with a man:

And so, this concludes a peak into my obsessive world, wherein I look at these all the time and think about changing them or not, and spend three hours at Bloomingdales until I can’t move my feet any more, and then spend the rest of the day online rethinking things and trying to find just the right cloth napkins to make my choice cool.

Someone has to save me from myself.

XOXO.

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