Back to Go Forward

by Love Love Letter

I just posted those two links to totally illuminating blog posts about budgets and being ok with what you’re spending and being ok with not being all DIY fab. All of that is still weighing heavy on my mind, and I wanted to make sure that my fiance knew what kind of situation we were setting ourselves up for, so I told him what our final budget is looking like – it was a surprise to him.

It just so happens that we have a number of generous people who are offering to help make our wedding happen, which is amazing and we will be forever grateful. But we still had these ideas that we would spend what looks like a large amount to us, but we were told was pennies in the wedding world in NYC. Well, looks like in reality, we’ll be spending almost twice as much as that first budget we’d set for ourselves. The fiance is totally excited about our wedding, and definitely has strong opinions about what he sees for it, but I don’t think it was totally clear to him what sorts of things we’d have to pay for to make it all a complete picture. It all adds up quickly.

We’re at this point where we’ve actually only put down a deposit on a few select things – they’re big things (the ceremony venue/officiant/musicians, the reception venue, and our photographer) – but we still have a lot of wiggle room. Moving forward from here, we could start booking other vendors: I have a florist I’m quite excited about who I’ve been in talks with for instance. But it’s the reception venue that is really pushing our budget over, and it was by far the biggest frustration at the beginning of wedding planning. Finding a venue that the man and I agreed upon and that would hold 130 people and that didn’t require a ton of work or money to make it look like anything (we considered the loft option for about a minute… when we went to see one in person, it was immediately clear that that is just not us.) and that seemed somehow significant to us as a couple… it was not easy! It caused tears. More than once. If we were to back out of this place now, it’s very likely that they would rebook it and we’d get our deposit back, but the thought of going through that search again makes me nauseous.

On the other hand, now that we have such a VERY significant and magnificent and permanent (for visiting when our kids will appreciate it, or when we’re 85) ceremony spot picked out, perhaps we’ll approach the reception venue differently? It’s so weird to think about, because booking that reception venue was the one thing that made it all feel real, and that set our date, and everything. And now I’m seriously thinking we need to rethink it?

Our dream spot would have been the Cooper Hewitt or The Frick, but they’re laughably expensive ($30k membership level at The Frick – to be allowed to use the space! From there you add catering, entertainment, flowers, etc…). I thought a restaurant would be excellent, because they come with some decor, good food, staffing, already. But when I checked with, for instance, Public on Elizabeth Street, it’s a $30k buyout for the space, which I would need to do to fit all my peeps. At least that includes food and beverage, but still!

Did you ever back track in your planning, and make a major change? Please tell me I’m not alone in this!