by Love Love Letter
It was official before, sure. I mean, since the moment the ring came out of his pocket and I tearfully said ‘yes, yes of course.’ But today I went and made the first official steps toward preparing our ceremony at The Very Big Church. It was lovely and a lot less stressful for me than my first visit, when I’d gone to see what getting married there entailed. It was a different priest who saw me this time, and he was new to the parish, and seemed to know less about proceedings than I did. I felt that I could ask questions, because then we would try to find the answers together in a booklet. Charming.
I’m Jewish, culturally, but I was raised by a staunch Atheist who I had a hard time imagining taking my Catholic church wedding seriously. Meanwhile, my Catholic fiance comes from a family that would have just as hard a time seeing the wedding as fully-formed without a Priest presiding. I don’t mind religion. I see its faults, and I see where it adds to people’s lives. More and more as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized how, as long as you maintain perspective as to why you’re turning to religion at any given time, it adds more than it takes away. I love mankind as a whole enough to see beauty in connections, and if that connection and urge to do right by others can be a part of what makes up my understanding of a holy entity, then I’ll take it.
Oooook, so that very touchy backstory aside (not supposed to talk about religion or politics in polite company, right?), I’m happy to be moving forward with this and to know that really and truly, we have someone committed to performing the ceremony with us. Isn’t that what the wedding is all about anyway? So this step is major.
I guess I give that backstory partly because I feel like I have to justify the direction of the wedding to both people who know me and people who don’t. For those who know me, they would never have imagined that I’d be getting married in a church, let alone such a BIG church… For those who don’t… I guess I’m encountering my own weird need to let them know that I would never have imagined myself getting married in a church, let alone such a BIG church. But now that it IS official, I say it’s time I stop justifying it. Time to own it!
I should mention here, as my *last* bit of justification, that shortly after we were engaged and the idea of holding the ceremony at this beautiful behemoth church was on the table, it seemed almost like a joke. Then, one after another well-meaning family member started suggesting that we marry there, and it started seeming like I had to at least give it some thought. And so I did. I went inside for the first time ever as I passed the front door by chance one day. And I was completely overwhelmed by emotion. I thought about what all of the other visitors were there for, what they were thinking about or who they were praying for. I thought about having our wedding ceremony there with so much space above us, and most importantly I thought about returning one day together, to hold hands and think fondly back to the day we married, to show our children, to think back on the amazing things we’ve brought each other on our 10th anniversary, our 30th… our 70th. Ha! Medicine is advancing! They predict we’ll all live to 120, right?
I’ve been doing some other justifying lately, with vendors, on the phone. Can we talk about catering? Let’s. Next post.